#quizzy

Who Is This Gawker Article About? A NSFW Quiz

     

gawker quiz hulk hogan peter thiel

Gawker founder Nick Denton. (mathowie/Flickr)

If you’re just catching up, here’s the thing: Famed pro wrestler Hulk Hogan sued online newsgossip site Gawker for millions of dollars after they published his sex tape, contending they’d violated his privacy--and he won. And then came the bombshell: Hulk Hogan got help paying for his lawsuit from another super rich guy, an investor/entrepreneur named Peter Thiel.

Thiel (pronounced, BTW, "teel," not "theel"--you're welcome) defends using his fortune to go after Gawker because, he says, he’s trying to deter them from “ruin[ing] people’s lives.” He also says he considers this crusade “philanthropy.”

This got us thinking about Gawker’s approach. So we dug into the Gawker archives to see what else they've done that a guy like Thiel maybe might possibly object to, and pulled out these tidbits.

Oh, and this quiz is NSFW not because there are nude pics or sex tape clips, but because there’s lots of profanity, because Gawker. We didn't censor it because that would water down the effect, and the point is to take a clear-eyed look at the language Gawker actually uses. So if you're not cool with unfiltered blue language or unflinching descriptions, click away now. You've been warned.

1

“__________ is a fucking asshole. While the stereotype of the self-aggrandizing actor is hardly new or unproven, the _____ of 1995 took it to groundbreaking levels. His ego is so big, in fact, that my initial plan to note anytime _____ looked like an insane megalomaniac became an incredibly overwhelming task.”


Mel Gibson
Kelsey Grammer
Colin Farrell
2

“Is __________ gay or what? You'll remember there was that ominous rumor that he once raped his gay lover that was sort of intense and icky.”


James Franco
Tom Cruise
Will Smith
3

“The knowledge that you are a journalist making a very modest living while working for this [person] who lounges in a palatial apartment each night plotting ways to embarrass you by indulging in grotesque corporate makeout parties with some of America’s most controversial CEOs? Priceless.”


Shane Smith of Vice
Arianna Huffington of The Huffington Post
Jonah Peretti of BuzzFeed
4

“Enraged by leaks at his [company], CEO __________ cooked up a sophisticated electronic scheme to catch the blabbers. It backfired hilariously on the brilliant entrepreneur, who's a bit blabby himself.”


Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg
Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel
Tesla founder Elon Musk
5

__________ is “the worst assault on science on the internet.”


Vani Hari, AKA the Food Babe
Neil deGrasse Tyson
Bill Nye the Science Guy
6

“__________ was definitely probably drunk tonight during [TV network’s] election coverage. Would you agree? Not convinced yet? She slurred every other word, rambled about the lack of music, and asked a correspondent if the exclamation point in the Obama slogan represented the direction he truly wanted to go with his presidency.”


Diane Sawyer
Megyn Kelly
Soledad O'Brien
7

“This week, the National Enquirer published a story claiming __________ may have been involved in as many as five extramarital affairs. But the general allegations are nothing new. People have been talking publicly about, well, something involving _____ for weeks.”


Bill Clinton
Bill Cosby
Ted Cruz
8

“And there you have it: a candidate whose poll numbers have been consistently abysmal is enraged that he is not given the lectern to deliver speeches to the voters who don’t care about him.”


Mike Huckabee
Rand Paul
Chris Christie
9

“International baby boy __________ has made his requests known.”


Justin Bieber
Chris Brown
Kanye West
10

“We do not know for sure that __________ is cripplingly stupid and reckless. We may have heard from sources that __________ is stupid and reckless. But we do not know it, so we are not saying it. … Perhaps __________ and [news outlet] are having an incredibly unlucky week. Perhaps the worthlessness of every single scoop the [news outlet] has had—its inability even to get the body count straight—does not prove that the editor is a booze-addled, race-baiting, information-illiterate moron who has neither the common sense nor the journalistic skills to avoid repeatedly humiliating his newspaper. … We do not know. It would be irresponsible to speculate.”


Former New York Times editor Bill Keller
BuzzFeed editor Ben Smith
New York Post editor Col Allan
11

“Fuck the city of _____, in general. … Fuck your reputation as a center of learning. Fuck your colleges and universities. Fuck your swarms of students. Fuck the hyper-intellectuals, the frat boys, and everyone in between.”


London
Boston
New York
12

“Venture capital is a business about risk — but only the right kinds of risk. Unproven technology? Fine. A host of rivals? No problem. A gay founder? Oh, hey, wait a second. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But someone else, somewhere else, might take issue with it. That's VC thinking.”


Investor/entrepreneur Peter Thiel
Apple CEO Tim Cook
Gawker Media founder Nick Denton

Who Is This Gawker Article About? A NSFW Quiz

Holly Epstein Ojalvo

Holly’s mission is to inform, inspire, and empower engaged activists who will change the world. She was previously an editor at The New York Times and a high school teacher. She spent her brief 20’s slump at a mousepad factory. Holly earned a B.A. at Lafayette College and M.A.'s at U Delaware and NYU. She lives in Brooklyn with her husband, daughter, and cat, Tomie Twotone. Follow: @heoj.

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