Why I Don’t Believe in Love
I’ve made about a thousand jokes about how I don’t believe in love and how I would rather die than commit myself to another person. When I see the memes that say something like, “I’m not afraid of falling in love, I’m afraid of falling out of it,” I actually think they’re really funny because I’d be afraid of not finding a reasonable excuse to get out of the commitment.
A few days ago, after connecting with a fly named Karen on a psychological level, I realized my jokes might have a lot more truth to them than I initially realized.
I don’t believe in love. I think love is a social construction that people use as an excuse to do foolish things when they’re weak and is a leading cause of an unhappy life.
I mean, think about it. What do we, especially in today’s generation, define as love?
Texting someone a million times? Blasting their face all over social media with cute little messages so everyone can get this idea of false happiness in their heads? Sticking it out with someone even though they make you more miserable than happy simply because “if something is broken you fix it”?
If that’s your way of thinking just remember that a broken vase can be glued back together but the cracks will always be there, pieces will be missing, and it’ll never be as beautiful as it once was. Sometimes it's best to let go.
Being cheated on, mental abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse ... these are things so many people go through, yet they’re “in love” so they stay because they can work it out.
So many people are with the wrong person because society has put it into our heads that we’re insignificant and unhappy if we’re not in a relationship. That once you reach a certain age it’s not “normal” to be single.
But is it normal to be with someone just so you’re not alone? Because I’m happy alone, which is why I’m fine being single. But misery does love company, which explains why so many people hop from relationship to relationship.
They seek to fill an emptiness they don’t realize they can only fill for themselves.
A lot of people think about their age and how long they’ve been single so they’ll just settle for someone who asks them out--even though they aren’t compatible with that person. Or they’ll be with someone for three years then realize the happiness just isn’t there anymore but they’ll get married anyway because they’re too old to start over with someone new.
Love puts too much pressure on people. Like if they’re not in it, they’re somehow less than those who are, so a lot of people just try to make it look good to others. Even if it’s really nothing but pain and misery for them.
Something that I always thought was supposed to be our greatest source of happiness has turned into most people's greatest source of sadness.
This is why I don’t believe in love.
It’s mostly a mental thing you tell yourself rather than an emotional thing you feel.
See, my idea of love was always wanting the best for the person you’re with, even if what’s best for them is to not be with you. I’ve seen a lot of toxic relationships where it’s obvious the two people involved would be better without each other, yet they say they can’t let go because of “love.”
To me, if it were “love,” you’d let them go because you want the people you love to be happy.
If “love” means being miserable with someone else and having a myriad of problems and thinking it’s better than being alone and working on yourself, then yeah, I really don’t believe in love.
I get a lot of people will say what I’ve said doesn’t apply to all relationships and that some really are in beautiful, healthy relationships, and I won’t argue against that. I can’t tell people what they’re feeling is wrong and I wouldn’t want too.
All I can say is that if your “love” sounds anything like what I described above, then your "love" is a social construction and society usually constructs really crappy things. I mean just look at gender roles and race.
If there is such a thing as love, one that is selfless and comes in due time, then I’m sure finding that is great. All I’m saying is don’t feel like you have to rush and settle for “love” because you think it’s time.
Far too many people strive for something that honestly may not even exist. I mean, whose word do we have that it does? Societies?
I don’t know, maybe I’m being too cynical.
I guess what I don’t believe in is what we’ve been socially constructed to believe is love. As for the actual thing, well, I’ve always thought feeling is believing so if I ever do feel it one day, I’ll believe it, but until then, I don’t believe in love.
Mia is studying criminal justice. Mia is obsessed with the classics and is always saying people need more Gatsby and Huck Finn in their life - not to mention anything John Hughes. She also spends her time as a staff writer for HackCollege.com. You can follow her on Instagram at @myohhmiaa.