Let’s face it, there’s nothing important going on ANYWHERE. Yawn.
Especially these 10 things. You should absolutely pay no attention to them whatsoever. Nobody cares about any of them. They’re not important in any way.
1. North Korea Getting Aggressive
So apparently North Korea is all about nuclear weapons now. That, and threatening South Korea and the United States. Like, we told them to stop it already and they were all like, “You can’t tell us what to do!” Whatever, no biggie.
2. Civil War in Syria
There’s a civil war going on right now in Syria, between the government and rebel forces. The death toll could easily reach 100,000 and there’s now a refugee crisis in neighboring Jordan. But Syria is far away and you don’t know anyone from there, so who cares, right?
3. Mainstream Sexism
On Friday, some lady crashed the Daily Princetonian’s website because she wanted to tell all the women at Princeton know to focus on finding a husband during their college years. Then the New York Times published an obituary for a scientist that led with her famous beef stroganoff instead of her ground-breaking scientific discoveries. But why does that matter?
4. Banking Crisis in Cyprus
Cyrpus isn’t doing so well financially and now they’re skimming money off of people’s bank accounts. And some of the richest depositors could lose 30 to 40 percent out of their accounts. But, I mean, look at how teeny Cyprus is:
Only like 12 people live there, so, ’nuff said.
5. The Gun Control Debate
Interest in newer, tougher gun control laws is waning, and the NRA continues to be one of the most powerful lobbying machines on the Hill. Meanwhile, Congress can’t figure out what to do about guns, if anything. Nothing to see here. It’s not as if gun laws affect anyone’s lives or anything.
6. An Oil Spill
Exxon Mobil spilled 12,000 barrels (and counting) of oil and water in Arkansas. The oil cascaded through backyards and front lawns, wreaking havoc on a small suburb in Arkansas. Whatever.
7. Censorship in Egypt
Dr. Bassem Youssef is pretty much the Jon Stewart of Egypt… So, of course the Egyptian government arrested him this weekend for allegedly verbally bashing Egypt’s president. Youssef was very much a figure from the Arab Spring uprisings, which demanded a more liberated people. But why should any of us care about some guy getting silenced over in Egypt? It doesn’t affect our lives in any way.
8. Huge Cheating Ring in Atlanta Schools
Thirty-five current and former Atlanta public school employees – including the former superintendent – were indicted on charges of conspiring to cheat on standardized tests. The cheating misrepresented how thousands of students were doing in school. But we’re sure that didn’t hurt anyone, or go on anywhere else.
9. The Supreme Court and Same-Sex Marriage
10. The New Pepsi Bottle Design
HA. Just kidding, this is incredibly important.
In light of Pepsi’s new re-design, here’s a little retrospective of their logo over the last 100 odd years for you… twitter.com/1HQbrandagency…
— 1HQ Brand Agency (@1HQbrandagency) March 26, 2013
In case you actually do want to not only pay attention to what’s going on in the world, but also try to make a difference, here are some ways to get started:
Images used under Creative Commons licensing.